not over…

I can’t help but look at the pictures… the reminders… in my head I know it’s over, but my heart still wants to believe that he’s with me.  I don’t want to forget, but it hurts to remember.

It doesn’t help that I am here, and not home; that my choice is what ultimately ended it.  It doesn’t help that in my downtime I have limited choices to what I can do, and at night, when I can finally think… I think about home and what I miss…

I want to keep in touch, to know what is going on, but that hurts too.  To know that life goes on without me…


4 responses to “not over…

  1. Hi Erin…

    Your blog really touched me today. I hear your pain and I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. It took me 4 tries and 40 years to finally recognize and accept the meaning of true, deep, real love… I wish this for you many years sooner than I and also without all the mistakes I made along the way….

    Take care of yourself and I hope to see you in July??

    Your cousin…Jenny

  2. What are you talking about?! We have to move on with life just like you have to move on with this year in order for us to look forward to you coming home. Snap out of it! We love you dearly and can’t wait until you’re back. But you need to change the attitude to get through your deployment. If you need to forget about us for a while, then do it! Do whatever you need to do. But remember, it’s all a mind game. If you want to come back to us as a very similar person, you need to not feel bad about doing what you need to do to get through it, as long as you call us when you’re back. Let us do the worrying at home. Trust me, it works out so much better that way. We love you, Erin, and look forward to a year or so from now! (And you better call me during your 2 weeks!!!)

  3. Just because life goes on doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking about you! We miss you lots 🙂
    Love you

  4. It takes time love. Let your heart heal at it’s own pace. Each day it’s going to hurt a little less. I love you and I am right here with you every step of the way. No matter what. Battles for life…we are fam

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