wanted love….

I have been in love three times… that seems like a lot for only being 25…  but each were different, and each taught me something new.

The first, I’m not really sure if I was in love with him or the fact that i was actually wanted.  But when I wasn’t wanted anymore, my world came crashing down.  At first, I thought it was about him, but four years later, I know it was about me.

The second, was different.  Much quicker, but the relationship itself was much more difficult for various reasons.  I think some of it was still about being wanted, knowing that I was wanted, but I also was more involved in my feelings.  And when I no longer felt wanted, I knew it was time to move on.  And I did, fairly easily…

The third time was a departure… and I still can’t quit explain it… it’s still very much with me.  It’s more than just being wanted, but it also involves wanting… so much that  if he wasn’t around I could still feel him.  I still don’t know if he knows how I felt, feel… and that is my fault.  I was so afraid of how different I felt towards him without knowing how he felt towards me, that I wasn’t sure how to vocalize it… and now… well…

But life goes on… and I know that, once again, that wanted love will be magnified.

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